ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize