when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
