it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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