youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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