I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize