dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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