All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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