If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize