see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
