i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
