I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
