let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
