Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
