THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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