idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
