You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
