I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
When are your genitals available?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
