we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
