I want you more than these girls want KFC
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
