I wanna bring you to show and tell
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
