i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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