i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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