Will you blow on my dice?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
