Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
