Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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