I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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