I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
