Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
