wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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