i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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