i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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