So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize