This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
