i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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