I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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