I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
