We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my phone needs a breathalizer
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
