I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
