Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
