We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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