he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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