dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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