She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize