shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
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I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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