He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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