I can text with my tongue
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i dont even know how to be here
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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