Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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