his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My life is pants optional.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
