Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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