alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
