shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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