hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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