I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
