just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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