Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
