Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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