party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
