did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
