Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize