You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
