Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
