You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
