After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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