two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
